Shitting My Way to Heaven
Second day of the trots. What I mean by ‘trots’ is that I have soup ass. What I mean by ‘soup ass’ is that I am on day two of shitting my pants. I did manage to drive the boys to school without shitting in the Uplander. It helped that I was distracted by a rather handsome man smiling at me as he crossed the road. I thought he was flirting until I looked at myself in the rearview mirror and saw my pasty lime green face. My face looked like what the ‘Hulks’ face would look like if he was decomposing and transgendered. Perhaps the handsome man may not have been flirting with me across three lanes of traffic. Perhaps he was feeling compassion for the hybrid beast/human before him that is shitting her way to heaven.
- Posted in: My Daily Bread