Black Cat Ninja

I awoke this morning to find another dead hummingbird in our living room. The current count is three. Out of the three black ninja sisters I am positive it is Agatha. She is the smallest and has the most to prove. If animals can be gay she is the one to lead the parade, not too imply that being gay has anything to do with stalking and eating Hummingbirds. In fact considering our home consist of two adults, one teenager, three boys, four cats, six chickens, a fish and a dog, I’m sure out of the eighteen of us living in our urban 900 sq ft home, one or more of us must be gay. We just don’t have enough room to come out yet. Wait for the renovations. Back to our special opts trained cat, how exactly can a cat catch a Hummingbird? Are they not so fast that wildlife photographers need special camera settings to slow them down enough that humans can in fact see how fast they are? Perhaps my cat uses her stealth, sleek, black body to distract the Hummingbird first. May be she disorientates him with her crazy, mad ninja moves. Perhaps she uses her Jedi mind tricks to slow him down. In any case I am concerned about the karmic debt she is accumulating. I will spend today looking into black cat ninja intervention programs. A treatment program for cats to save Hummingbirds from extinction. Dr. Doolittle Rehab, coming to cable soon. I guess my choice is simple really. Continue to let her outside and roam the dark nights killing birds as a Ninja cat and accept the Circle of Life or lock her in our home as an indoor cat only so that Cinderella pussy can never kill again.

PS: a note to the 17 occupants called my family, if anyone really wants to come out there is still plenty of room in our house for you, you don’t have to wait for the renovations.


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